STAR WARS IX (2019) movie review

*spoilers; also don’t be shocked by a positive review… and don’t hate SW8 lovers…

REVIEW:

The finale’ to three trilogies has a lot to live up to, especially after the controversial penultimate Ponzi scheme that was the Rian Johnson debacle. Once again playing to OG fans in the safest of safe ways, JJ Abrams blinks past the memory of two years ago and allows respect to renter the universe. Sure, mock the risk-averse take on a timeless classic, but don’t tell me you don’t love Rey’s new kick flip force moves, or throwback speeder races, or a visit to Endor.

This time, Luke’s saber must be earned, falling rocks mean something, pogs get only a flash, and you can continue to ship Poe and Fin. Abrams fans will also see revivals from favorite faces of Charlie from Lost and two favorite characters from JJ’s hit 90s TV series Felicity: Greg Grunberg and Keri Russell . This film has everything from Sarlackian sinking sand pits to movable monster chess, Wookies in handcuffs, and Lando Calrissian.

It’s a date with the old franchise that raised you – plus a few of the new tricks like lightspeed skipping and interdimensional force fighting. Leia’s role is a perfect compliment to her character and career. And my favorite aspect of this film was the new perspective on the balance of the force that created resolve and unexpected connectivity between all nine films: Rey uses the force to heal. All others use the force to see or to fight, but Rey follows her heart and lays a hand of healing on her enemies, building relationship, forging heroes.

Kylo Ren’s journey becomes the echo of the Anakin story we all cared enough to follow over four decades. The which, I am grateful to have lived through. Star Wars and I have had a long journey together, and in this great wide universe, there will be conflict but we are never alone and there is always hope.

 

RATING:  7.5;  C+ …not the hateful 8th, but perhaps a recap of 7. I gave the “Honest Trailer” for this one all aces.

STAR WARS Episode 8 The Last Jedi (2017) movie review

From one life-long Star Wars fan to another, it may be time to retire the badge. Beware, rants & spoilers ahead.

 Call it too many cooks in the kitchen. Blame an inexperienced writer/ director. But nothing can redeem the plot holes, the lack of character development, the incessant punny one-liner attempts at comic relief that skewed the tone of this film meant for the Star Wars Universe but playing out like a poor spin-off.No one can debate the absolute tragedy that was Princess Leia’s resurrection. No one should support love triangle vibes or the chemistry-less friend-game from the positively pointless side narrative that took Finn and friend to little Vegas to find the stuttering codebreaker who betrays them and disappears. Pointless.The ridiculous certainly outweighed the powerful, the silly over the strong. Laura Dern’s character keeps the plan from her one best ally, Poe Dameron. She plays a stubborn, hateful leader dressed for the governor’s ball who sacrifices herself to save some.The screen should be at least somewhat sacred – screentime under a trusted name should be valuable. Your time and money is worth more than this poorly produced film. Certainly, stunning shots made a few moments worthwhile, but the details betrayed the beauty breaking what faith I had left after a torturous Rogue One. I had a bad feeling about this, but I still had hope for the franchise.
The little “porg” birds and crystal foxes may have added cutsie touches, but  they played no role in the plot. Nice pitch for new Disney dolls, but why not go ahead and make the alien cow that Luke milks. That’ll be a coveted toy beneath the Christmas tree. And why were frog people living on the island with Luke selling elephant tusks out of  wheelbarrows. These are questions I’d like to know the answers to. Here are a few more odd details I’d love to know more about.

The ancient unread Jedi texts look like $12 journals from Barnes and Noble. Finn and his flibbertigibbet new gal pal are the only 2 standing when the doc is hit. Lucky.Poe is locked up on a transport waiting for Leia to wake up only to slap him – an out of character move. Kylo Ren, however, is still a pent-up child throwing tantrums. BB8 saves the day multiple times. Bot’s got more gumption and wherewithal than any of the fighters. Rey, still unfortunately flawless and therefore unrelatable, somehow trains herself after a few short days on JJ’s next big LOST island. Then, Luke ditches and dismisses the one promised moment that had carried us all into this film. For two years, Rey has been holding his lightsaber out to him waiting for the hero to emerge. And, in two seconds, our hopes were dashed and Han died for no reason.This film was disappointing on every level that matters. Sure, you can blindly watch and appreciate the Star Wars fan-isms. You can call it beautiful in scenes. You can say that you believe in the rebellion and it’s potential to take back the galaxy by pushing the Empire out and bringing balance to the force. But, sorry fans, you cannot say that this was a good film just because it’s Star Wars.

 

PAN (2015) movie review

pan-featureJoe Wright’s Pan is a kiss and a miss.

Wright gives all of his films a kiss of beauty, and Pan is no exception: it’s paint-on-screen from gorgeous London rooftops and cityscapes to starry night backdrops and Neverlandian sunrises unmatched.pan-movie-2015But then he missed…well a followable plot. It opens with an explanation in narration that this is a set up, a prequel, pre-Pan the backstory. Audiences most likely presupposed that this film would stray from the beloved J.M. Barrie novels, but not to this degree of confusion.

maxresdefaultSadly, this one poses too many questions then fails to answer them. Is Pan the one? Who is good vs who is evil? Matrix and monomyth connections ensue, and it’s just too much. Too many cooks in the kitchen, as they say. Too many swirling ideas. Too many supernatural cards in play. Blake Snyder calls this “Double Mumbo Jumbo.” 22126266The storyline pours in in irreconcilable duos:  grief over dead parents AND kidnapped by pirates, fear of heights AND space travel,  belief in fairies AND eternal life.

In London, the boys battle BOTH the hard knock life of orphan-hood under a Trunchbull of a keeper AND World War II bombings. The Keeper has a special hatred for Peter, which is never explained, nor is her relationship with pirates when she suddenly summons them with her raised pirate flag.levi-miller-in-pan-movie-10203These themes of kidnapping, death, and slavery, as well as long scenes of violence make this film far too dark for its target audience: small children. It takes deep, pendulous swings from death and fear into pirate hijinks AND a quirky trampoline UFC fighting. Odd duos.PANSmall Peter, played by Levi Miller, was lovely and vulnerable as a young Pan, but lacked the sass and strong will that Pan is known for. His deathly fear of heights was also a plot twists for the age-old flying Pan ideal. Sky pirate, Blackbeard, kidnaps slaves from around the world to work in the mines of Neverland hunting for the precious pixie rock dust, “Pixum.” We later assume, though it is unclear, that “Pixum” is both the key to flight AND long life. Pan leans on far too many assumptions. It plays like a hero journey outline with whole sections stolen from other films and some unfinished Polar Express-esque graphics spliced in. It’s basically Star Wars, but it made me want to go home and watch Hook with Robin Williams.
garrett-hedlund-in-pan-movie-2This Hook is a pretty good guy, Pan’s ally. Though cold and put-offish, (Garrett Hedlund’s hard cowboy pirate accent didn’t help…it was irksome at best), James Hook is also an anomaly as the only 20-something male model working the mines. Pan_Neverland_Triptych_Panel_A_DOM_masterHe becomes Han Solo swooping in on his ship to rescue and woo princess Tiger Lily and save the day by helping the boy Pan meet his destiny. Huh? garrett-hedlund-in-pan-movie-5

pan__spanTiger Lily is the Princess Leia type. She sassy and cause-driven. She can fight, and she bravely stands up against the man in black after watching him kill her family members. Despite the script, Rooney Mara almost saves this film as she underplays Tiger Lily bringing the only subtlety and therefore believable balance to a gentle Peter waiting to become the Pan.pan-panfluteThe “score” exemplifies the film’s bipolar trends. Classic orchestrated film score turns rock opera upon arrival in Neverland as the whole cavernous mountain area filled with mining boys and old men pirates sing Nirvanva’s “Smells like Teen Spirit.” Hugh Jackman makes his Blackbeard entrance singing “Here we are now, entertain us.” file_608069_pan-trailerIt all could have perhaps worked had this effort repeated itself like in A Knights Tale or in Moulin Rouge, or had they not gone to such lengths to set the film in WWII decades before Nirvana fans tripped similarly into their own Neverlands.image