Splatter: on FILM

Contrived.

The cake mix of cowboy movie must-haves: dirty, gun-toting scoundrels, swigging whiskey, court’n women. Then pour a spittoon-load of current blockbuster must have’s and mix! Make the one woman on set spout feminism while standing for her freedoms naked…because she owns her ill-clad body, doggonit! Have the expressionless hero earn points with the audience by literally petting a dog…er..uh..saving a cat.Don’t forget the daddy issues, aliens with hard outer shells & useless slimy inner belly-hands, cool shooting wrist gadgets, throw backs to the holocaust (to ground it in real life), some one-take one-liners, and a mutual galaxy-wide lust for gold.
If you don’t see this movie, watch the trailer. It’s like the movie, but the content is rich and satisfying.