Splatter: on FILM

Suffering from grief after the death of Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman continue to fight crime in the shadows until Steppenwolf, the Lord of evil, returns from the land of doom to unite the three power cubes and destroy the world.Of course he does. What else would he do? So what must they do? They must form a team of superhumans and gods to save the world. Batman has the money, experience, and a new Alfred played by Jeremy Irons. Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth, her feminum wristbands, and her looks. They recruit The Flash, a fast kid with daddy issues, Aquaman, independent sassy king of the seas, and the Cyborg infused with alien technology and metal.

CG characters over saturated color spectrums, Zack Snyder maintains his classic 300 look.

The evil Steppenwolf seems a hybrid of stolen storylines from Sauron of Mordor trying to reclaim the one ring to Thanos hunting down infinity stones. Calling these “power boxes” doesn’t fix blatant plagiarism or disengage aware audiences of stereotypical evil master tropes.As far as seconds go, you often want to go back to the fridge hoping a dry slice of turkey will be better on the leftover plating. But it isn’t. Affleck’s tired Batman claims he’s getting too old for this. Gadot’s gorgeous Wonder Woman gets tighter leather and shorter skirts like she’s losing at poker with each film release.If only Batman didn’t constantly wince with exhaustion and chagrin. If only Superman wasn’t a CGI nightmare. If only Aquaman was given a likable presence instead of Wolverine’s aggression and an ocean of snarky one-liners. If only Cyborg was allowed a bit more humanity. The newbies were almost too strong, too wise, too capable. Cyborg can super hack any human or alien system. The Flash can essentially raise the dead with his super speed. Flash was surprisingly the bright spot and comic relief, but sadly not funny enough to counterbalance the darkness of a hero film left wanting.