Guy Ritchie’s new foray into old lore leaves one wanting more… wanting more clarity, consistency, and likable characters with trackable plotlines.
Through experimental filming and storytelling, the age-old Arthurian legend gets blurred on screen as angry teen magicians create dream sequences that collide in ultra HD street-running and slo-mo fights. 
Only more herky-jerky than the filming is the dialogue that forces stuttered inside jokes, mistakable relationships, and forgettable caricatures that not even a Beckham cameo could save.
Though Charlie Hunnam’s rippling abs and Viking jawline are the stuff of dreams, they are not enough to carry the whole legend and hopeful film series. 
And, even pert Jude Law’s portrayal of the murderous, evil-possessed uncle is baleful at best as he visits his nasty CG three-headed Ursula muse to gain yellow contacts.
Tragically, the great potential in casting and directing cred perhaps became the hubris leading to defeat, for this Excalibur should have remained in the stone until editing could find the glue to bring all of the disparate pieces of this film together.
UNCLE is not your typical Guy Ritchie piece. More Snatch than Sherlock, this tribute film could play like a two hour inside joke if you’ve never seen the hit 60’s show.
Ritchie, known for his laid back, well-planned, tea-taking, collaborative directing form on set, offers that sensibility to audiences. The stress is gone, but the pace plays.
No kiss and tell. No swearing. The sex and extreme violence is simply alluded to as something naughty going on in the next room. It’s the classic fluttering curtain. The audience takes tea and never has to worry, thanks to the family friendly rating. I’m grateful. Though a scene of almost nudity, a few holocaust photos, and constant action may not dissuade a family film night, the sheer duration might. It’s two, long but fun, very full one-note hours. So, action lovers will most likely approve.
The soundtrack is a character, jumping into scenes like a welcome hero framing the chase, follow, rumble, and escape into a split-screen, real-time visual medley. Lovely.
Alicia Vikander, is the appropriate third wheel on this trained tricycle. Baby-faced but believable, her chemistry with the team works.
Splatter: on FILM 