Splatter: on FILM

Guy Ritchie’s new foray into old lore leaves one wanting more… wanting more clarity, consistency, and likable characters with trackable plotlines.Through experimental filming and storytelling, the age-old Arthurian legend gets blurred on screen as angry teen magicians create dream sequences that collide in ultra HD street-running and slo-mo fights. Only more herky-jerky than the filming is the dialogue that forces stuttered inside jokes, mistakable relationships, and forgettable caricatures that not even a Beckham cameo could save.Though Charlie Hunnam’s rippling abs and Viking jawline are the stuff of dreams, they are not enough to carry the whole legend and hopeful film series. And, even pert Jude Law’s portrayal of the murderous, evil-possessed uncle is baleful at best as he visits his nasty CG three-headed Ursula muse to gain yellow contacts.Tragically, the great potential in casting and directing cred perhaps became the hubris leading to defeat, for this Excalibur should have remained in the stone until editing could find the glue to bring all of the disparate pieces of this film together.