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TOMB RAIDER (2018) movie review
Category: Fantasy
ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD (2019) movie review in haiku
Haiku review:
Tarantino burns
Tate history and hippies
Brad, Margo, Leo
Click the picture below to watch a behind the scenes with Tarantino: 
Scene:
TRAILER:
Rating: earned the R with true Tarantino-esque violence at the end and language throughout.
CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019) movie review in haiku
MCU picks its
blonde Wonder Woman to fight
shapeshifters and Jude
Click the pic below to watch the TRAILER:
PADDINGTON 2 (2017) movie review
The fabulous and famously snuggly bear with a blue coat has been living joyously with a family in London for the past few years, and he is now ready to find a job in the real world. His motives pure, it’s the execution of his big ideas that always gets him into – often very literal – sticky situations.
Sweet Paddington Bear makes his small world a better place, even when his world shrinks again and when he ends up behind bars.
Even when all of his friends seem to turn on him, his thoughtful, genuine, neighborly heart wins the city’s affections and teaches us all not to judge a book by its cover and that a bit of marmalade can heal all.
Don’t miss Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Jim Broadbent, Brendan Gleeson, and Hugh Grant in their silly-sweetest roles to date.
Life is a stage in Paddington 2, and all players look to be having the time of their lives.
MARY POPPINS RETURNS (2019) movie review in haiku
Blunt shines as Poppins
Bath is an ocean, chipped bowl
A cartoon circus 🎪
STAR WARS IX (2019) movie review
*spoilers; also don’t be shocked by a positive review… and don’t hate SW8 lovers…
REVIEW:
The finale’ to three trilogies has a lot to live up to, especially after the controversial penultimate Ponzi scheme that was the Rian Johnson debacle. Once again playing to OG fans in the safest of safe ways, JJ Abrams blinks past the memory of two years ago and allows respect to renter the universe. Sure, mock the risk-averse take on a timeless classic, but don’t tell me you don’t love Rey’s new kick flip force moves, or throwback speeder races, or a visit to Endor.
This time, Luke’s saber must be earned, falling rocks mean something, pogs get only a flash, and you can continue to ship Poe and Fin. Abrams fans will also see revivals from favorite faces of Charlie from Lost and two favorite characters from JJ’s hit 90s TV series Felicity: Greg Grunberg and Keri Russell . This film has everything from Sarlackian sinking sand pits to movable monster chess, Wookies in handcuffs, and Lando Calrissian.
It’s a date with the old franchise that raised you – plus a few of the new tricks like lightspeed skipping and interdimensional force fighting. Leia’s role is a perfect compliment to her character and career. And my favorite aspect of this film was the new perspective on the balance of the force that created resolve and unexpected connectivity between all nine films: Rey uses the force to heal. All others use the force to see or to fight, but Rey follows her heart and lays a hand of healing on her enemies, building relationship, forging heroes.
Kylo Ren’s journey becomes the echo of the Anakin story we all cared enough to follow over four decades. The which, I am grateful to have lived through. Star Wars and I have had a long journey together, and in this great wide universe, there will be conflict but we are never alone and there is always hope.
RATING: 7.5; C+ …not the hateful 8th, but perhaps a recap of 7. I gave the “Honest Trailer” for this one all aces.
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (2018) movie review
As it should be, the boy and bear unite to save their friends in this surprisingly sweet film starring Ewan McGregor as a grown up Christopher Robin.
Director Mark Forster and famous voices, including the original voice of 1988 Disney classic Pooh Jim Cummings, bring the original pack of fluffy pals to life in scenes that look pleasantly more muppet than CG.
Hook meets Paddington, as it takes a bear of “very little brain” and deep honey love to show a dad how to play and laugh and be silly once again.
Sometimes we work too much and let the anxious world let us down, so we require a film like this one that reminds us of the sweetness of enjoying another’s company in doing nothing for a while. After all, doing nothing often leads to to best of somethings.
ANT-MAN and The WASP (2018) movie review
Expect Marvel – that primary color palate and pert pacing. Expect Rudd’s quick wit of puns and one liners. Expect hard kicking Ghost girl to startle, but never during warm family moments.
Expect to see Evangeline Lily showing the many seasons of emotion as seen in Kate from Lost all rolled into this one film.
More size-shifting spectacles make this yet another fun classic Marvel hero flick. See it and you’ll get exactly what you expect: an Ant Man & aWasp.
JURASSIC WORLD: Fallen Kingdom (2018) movie review
Jeff Goldblum tried to warn them. He tried to warn us all. He said, , “Life finds a way.”
So, as fast as you can add an ellipses to the same movie title, the dangerous become the endangered. In this serialized sequel, the raptor and our old pal the T-Rex reign as as the natural antagonists turned underdogs who must escape island destruction via live volcano lava as well as the grasp of greedy business men and their maniacal soldiers before they face another extinction or worse, weaponization.
Predator to prey, this film seeks to prove that all it takes is a muscular raptor trainer, an executive party planner turned activist, and a small agile girl to save both the dinos and the world from an inevitable fate, a fate that was perhaps set the second Dr. Hammond played God in ‘93. 
SOLO (2018) movie review
Han’s the Robin Hood renegade rescuer in a dark side double-cross in this delightfully high speed, Star Wars-style action story staring the lovely Alden Ehrenreich. There’s only one problem, he’s not Solo.
No lack of star power, this film, rescued by all-star director Ron Howard plays like a sci-fi western Mission Impossible Bourne Identity Star Wars mash-up staring favorite faces from film and TV hits like Avengers, Hunger Games, Westworld, Atlanta (& Community), even Game of Thrones. 
Paul Bettany, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Donald Glover, and Emilia Clarke make Solo characters instantly recognizable and likable. The only distraction, which was also a major issue in Rogue One, is the Robot with too many lines bent on comic relief. Making her an advocate for Robot rights and a love interest for Lando still did not pay off or play as a necessary point in this Solo plot. Disney bankrolled this SW origin story hoping to draw millions of fans with these famous names.
What’s in a name? Well, Harrison Ford IS Han Solo. His brusque, carefree swagger fresh off a construction set and into the believable bad boy cockpit of the Millenium Falcon has been winning the hearts of OG Star Wars fans since ‘77. He’s the heart-of-gold smuggler who always claims to be in it for just that: the gold. He’s the Cool Hand on the run who shoots first, sass talks the evil Jabbas of the space underworld, and gets frozen in carbonite.
But now, the “I have a bad feeling about this” guy is all smiles and jeers, hope and helpfulness.
Sadly, this backstory romp escaping a tramp planet and into WWI conditions does not bring clarity to the Solo story despite run-ins with Glover’s suave Lando.
New Han is all good guy, sweet smiles, protecting the girl, saving the people. Here the cowboy wanders war-torn planets of mud and ice and sand as lovesick slave turns good guy smuggler. Classic and entertaining, just not Solo.
Splatter: on FILM 