Splatter: on FILM

FAST AND THE FURIOUS 6 (2013) movie review

July 13, 2013October 25, 20151 Comment

It du’dnt git any betta than this.

It’s all about family, bro.

As long as the cars are fast.

I thank God for family and for fast cars.

Yes is the answer to all of your Fast and the Furious Six questions:Yes, there will be perfect jumps from fast-moving vehicles of all kinds, even from tanks and huge aircrafts.

Yes, there will be hard face punching.

Yes women are valued for their assets, meaning their strong brains and driving skills.

Yes, these hot girl(s) will be asked to take the wheel at least three times. Why? So either Vin or the Rock can jump from the car…on a bridge …to take out the bad guys …to save the world.

Yes, you should see it without kids that you are trying to influence for the better who may not understand the farce and who may decide to make these guys their roll models. No. Just no…and

Yes, there is a disclaimer in the credits that normal humans shouldn’t stunt in life, but you will be tempted.

Yes, this may fill you with knee-hugging joy that stays with you long after you leave the theater.

Yes, every low bar you set will be met.

Yes, Vin gets to finish every line.

And, yes, there will be a Fast 7.

You’re welcome, world.

WHITE HOUSE DOWN (2013) movie review

July 4, 2013October 25, 20156 Comments

It’s worth it. The lines never felt forced. Everything worked. The actors were great. There was enough felt tension to make the comic relief enjoyable. I thought Channing Tatum would overcompensate with sincerity to knotch up from eye-candy, but he didn’t. He made it feel real. I thought Jamie Foxx might overly-Obamatize his character, but he did not. And, as promised, the White House does indeed go down. The rule of thumb in Hollywood seems to be: release the same concept in the same month and see which film tanks. This is all about Antz (1998) vs. A Bug’s Life (1998). Or Mirror Mirror (2012) and Snow White and the Huntsman (2012), although those two are are a toss-up. They pushed a quick release this year for Olympus has Fallen with Gerard Butler. Somehow I knew to wait, and I was glad I did. White House Down is the same in name only. The story works, it’s fun, and it stars some trusted names like Maggie Gyllenhaal and Richard Jenkins.

Though director Roland Emmerich unforgivably released the torturous film 2012 (2009), he also made the film Independence Day (1996). So, it seems appropriate to write this review today, July 4th.

Independence Day. Now there’s an American classic. Nothing screams freedom better than Will Smith punching Aliens in the face, than Jeff Goldblum solving the alien math-speak while wooing women, than Randy Quaid yelling “Up yours” while flying kamikaze into an alien ship, or than Bill Pullman giving his presidential speech. Now that’s a national treasure.

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THE COMPANY YOU KEEP (2012) movie review

June 27, 2013October 25, 20151 Comment

Directed by the one and only Robert Redford, this film is a thoughtful who-dunnit from the journalist’s perspective.

Redford once made history playing the thorough journalist sniffing out sources to break the Watergate story in the 1976 film All the President’s Men co-starring Dustin Hoffman.

In this film, Redford plays the hunted, trading roles with young-un lead-on-point, Shia LaBeouf.

Shia has skill. If directed well, he stops screeching and becomes his characters. He plays this more like the Hoffman character from ATPM (above). He is the likable hound dog with endless motivation and investigative prowess.

Beautifully acted, every scene boasts a familiar face. It’s like a Gary Marshall film, but with a well-written script. And a plot.

Watch a story that works in this film. Sure, it’s a bit slow. It’s not an action film. If action is what you want, see Fast 6. But if you crave facial expressions that speak story before the characters have to, see this film. I love a good mystery to solve. The Company You Keep does preach with political purpose, but the overarching message remains: Seek truth. Pursue it.

MAN OF STEEL (2013) movie review

June 23, 2013October 25, 20151 Comment

Epic film or epic fail?

In his interview with Russell Crowe, Jimmy Fallon called Steel “…a giant film.” He’s right. The effects are phenomenal. The star power triumphant. But, the story?

My Man of Steel Report Card grade = C-

A+ – casting Henry Cavill. He’s just got beautiful…uh…acting skills.
A grade – performances from Russell Crowe & Kevin Costner.

F – for Originality. Plagiarism plagued the pages of this script. “…it’s a singularity. A black hole in space.” Then the tripod, planet-searing octoship heads through the explosive space anomoly. I was shocked that no one thought to eject the warp core and say, “I’m givin her all she’s got Captain.” Throwback? To Trek 2009? Someone obviously didn’t listen to JJ Abrams give his TED Talk and say something close to “If you’re gonna rip anything off, rip off the character. You don’t rip off the Shark from Jaws.” Steel stole the shark.

Any other stolen bits in this our pun-titled Man of Steel? How about those metallic robot tentacle arms from outer space? They are from Avengers, yes? The ship from Prometheus buried in the mountain? Amy Adams was in a first season Smallville episode. Sadly, they should have left her there. Too cruel? Too soon? I don’t know. Even a vocal octave drop couldn’t turn Enchanted princess Amy Adams into the hard-hitting, danger-loving one-of-the-boys newshound Lois Lane.

What this movie failed to steal from Supers past was some much needed Clark-Lois chemistry, purposeful action sequences, Daddy issues based on trust, Christ-figures without the pressure of perfection, and thoughtful dialogue.

So many beautiful shots do not make up for the fact that Lois found out Clark’s secret identity in a day and made a quick trip to the farm to meet Martha then into space without a hitch.

My pal Steve called me today, still mad about this Superman tale gone awry. He said, “Character development between Clark and Lois was ridiculous. One moment they are strangers, the next they are having an intimate moment surrounded by a hundred soldiers waiting for the Kryptoninans to pick up Clark. Come on!!!!”

I know, Steve. I know.

THE INTERNSHIP (2013) movie review

June 15, 2013October 25, 20155 Comments

Vaughn and Wilson reunite to play two dads to a motley family of Googlers.

I had a joyous report on this one for the first hour plus. They had me at Quidditch. But, then they released the longest strip club montage to date.

I hate it when writers believe that it takes a sexual revolution to heal the nerd-wound. Third person Lyle cures the puns and gets the girl, lady all-talk prepares to give herself to more than manga, rebel texter chooses to put down both phone and sarcasm, and the abused perfectionist-type gets sauced (…and a few lap dances) and can suddenly conquer his fears.

This is it? We are supposed to believe that getting drunk at a club is the key to success and teamwork?

If you’re desperate to see it, fill the void and rewatch the trailers. They use ALL of the best jokes in the trailers.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS (2013) movie review

May 27, 2013October 25, 20158 Comments

We are here as witnesses to one another’s stories. Some stories I just wouldn’t want to miss. This film excavates human emotion while exploding (quite literally) on-screen. I love JJ Abrams. He understands my need to connect with the characters and my almost equal desire for on-screen action. He took the Trek dynasty to another level. My expectations, though very high, were more than met. I felt lucky to witness this.

Lessons in leadership: I swear it was like watching Twenty-seven Secrets of Highly Effective Leaders onscreen (…I made up that book title FYI). ie…Sometimes we must fight the instinct to go out guns blazing and instead trust the people around us to use their gifts to work together in order to win the day.

Favorite moments: The heartbreaking wordless scene near the beginning felt “Up“esque in its ability to tell a visual story. Beautiful. Brilliant.

Music in Film: I love Giacchino’s scores. I’m always listening for LOST moments in his sound.

“Stop with the metaphors, Bones!”: What did they say in the special featurette of the first JJ Star Trek film (2009)? …something to the tune of “Star Trek has always been beautiful classical music. Star Wars is rock and roll. We wanted to combine the two.” That’s what they’ve done with the new Trek films. There are so many gorgeous nods to old Trek, aka Tribbles, Spock yelling “Kaaaaaahhhhhnnn!” Oh, and that Cumberbatch… I just love it all.

Here is a link to my review of the 2009 Star Trek film: https://splatteronfilm.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/star-trek/

In this next chapter, Captain Kirk’s story needed an arch. He HAD to play the classic pompous pilot ignoring his mentor’s pleas for humility, fight an impossible battle, and sacrifice for the good of the many. What happens when we must bury our mentors? Perhaps the last lesson they taught becomes the loudest voice, the unsolved mystery, the final fight left unresolved. Frodo had to go on alone to deliver the ring. Superman had to find his birth father to fulfill his destiny. Skywalker had to become a Jedi against all odds. Each of us must listen to our mentors, make choices, and learn from our mistakes. Sometimes we must venture into the darkness of our own hearts to recognize that even heroes need saving.

IRON MAN 3 (2013) movie review

May 27, 2013October 25, 20152 Comments

No complaints.
Honestly. It’s got humor, heart, action, life lessons…and RDJ.

Robert Downey Jr IS Iron Man. Iron Man IS Robert Downey Jr. Inseparable. Fortified. Legendary. Justified.

Downey is the essence of a modern-day hero. We all seemingly enter this world craving heroism, “flying” cape-clad from childhood. This star-struck peter-panistic hero-lust curbs at the same moment we are out of Peter’s reach. We somehow tie “growing up” to the realism of clipping those wings ourselves, and in that moment we cease to be infallible, heroic, bulletproof, eternal.

I cry for the grown ups who have lost their sense of Neverlandish wonder, but the redemption and awakening stirs in the hearts of even the most grown up with the iron suit that makes an ordinary man with a brain heroic. That’s what movies like Iron Man 1-3 do for us.

I must take a moment to ponder expectations.

A respected colleague recently blasted Baz Luhrmann’s Gatsby film. I wanted to write my thoughtful rebuttal but realized the futile fruitlessness of fighting one opinion versus another.

Inwardly, I resolved that I like it when people disagree with me (albeit only graciously expressed antagonism is truly appreciated).

Movies are art. They are meant to create conversation. No critic holds the key or the corner on great films. Personal perspectives matter, making the industry diverse. Movies are personal, yes. You put down my favorites, I feel put down. But know this: like it or hate it, art should be shared and discussed.

Heroes are echoes of our excellent, odd-beautiful selves. Learn from heroes like our Iron Man: we all have potential for greatness mixed with humility, for self-sacrifice, and for true love that conquers all.
For only with great whimsy can we glimpse the infinite and soar once more.

THE GREAT GATSBY (2013) movie review

May 14, 2013October 25, 20158 Comments

Baz Luhrmann revives Gatsby for a new generation of readers. The screen glosses over every few seconds with another coat of fresh paint in vibrant colors. Every perfect string of Tiffany pearls pales only in comparison to the brilliant custom cars and beaded 20’s gowns. For those of us who fell for Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet (1996), this is his newest moveable feast.

I tried a new experiment. I hadn’t read the book yet, so I picked it up one morning, absorbed it, and drove straight to the theater once I’d finished it. Fitzgerald, Zelda, Gatsby, Daisy. I was a-whirl with the graspable metaphors as they came alive before my eyes. The billboard’s God-eyes, the green light of envy from across the harbor, the luminous drops of sweat, the clock that drops from the mantle. Solid adaptation. Spot on, as they say.

Leo DiCaprio is back in full Gatsby glory, and that smile once thought lost on the icy bow of the Titanic shines with fresh vigor. He feels type-cast as Gatsby, as though he is acting out his own charmed, affluent, carefree, secretive life. Gatsby’s glossy disguise masks a past of pain and the obsession of a singular dream for true love as he once knew it. All other characters dance on and off-screen in glimpses of likable Chaplin-esque chop and charm.

Fitzgerald’s tale is tragic. The sin-centric storyline allows for rare moments of reflection admitting to itself that our sins will surely find us out. The adulterous are painted no worse than the greedy or gluttonous, and only in the eyes of God are we the same and forgivable as we meet on common ground in that shadowed valley of death.

OBLIVION (2013) movie review

May 4, 2013October 25, 20155 Comments

Oblivion.

More Tom Cruise than you thought possible in a single film.

Despite extensive and irreconcilable plot holes, Oblivion is visually stunning.

If you care more about the visual than the plot, you will call the unfortunate plot moments “twists.” You will quickly forgive those final lines that sound a lot like those spoken by Randy Quaid in ID4… You won’t find the title ironic, at all. You will personally resolve that beautiful people working together on a beautiful film will always make something meaningful. You will appreciate the splendor of a house in the clouds. Your belief in Morgan Freeman as the God-figure of film in this era will perhaps deepen. Your post-apocalyptic hope will grow to the point that you may even see that new Will Smith movie coming out. And your Christmas toy list will include the newest x-wing as flown by Tom Cruise in this movie.

When you see it, watch for the classical allusions to famous art and literature: A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens and the painting Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth (1948, MOMA, NY). These are purposefully and artfully placed in the film adding richness. I appreciated the opinions of this blogger on the painting’s meaning: thefineartdiner.blogspot.com

See Oblivion on IMax. Each shot is breathtaking and sci-fi wonderful.

42 (2013) movie review

April 20, 2013October 25, 20151 Comment

Stop what you are doing. Don’t waste another second. See this beautiful film.

Harrison Ford has always been a favorite, but now I’m in awe. He’s got gumption – that confidence that shines on-screen. And, he keeps secrets worth decoding, joy and sorrow resident in his eyes.

Young Chadwick Boseman, Jackie Robinson‘s true doppelgänger, fulfilled his role with the honesty and swagger of the legend himself.

There is honor in this film. It speaks of doing right all alone, of standing still against oceanic pull.

Racism obviously disgusts on every level. This film chooses to go beyond the black versus white question to pierce the heart of hate being hateful and the soul of letting skill speak for skill alone. It reminds me that people are capable of great love or brutality, but that they can also change.

Who has your heart? What keeps your feet steady? Jackie Robinson was just a man playing the game that he was born to play, a game that so many love. People fight in many ways for what is right. Robinson allowed himself to become a symbol. He walked in silence allowing his skill to speak for him despite screaming threats on an angry current.

He played baseball and let God fight for him.

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